Apr 11 2009
Memories… Day 4
Light the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Maybe, Barack should call the great Ex-President Jimmy Carter for some advice… Let’s see how long that Nobel prize winner keeps his mouth shut when one of his own his steering the ship. Not that he has any Presidential successes of his own to draw from…
AP/FOXNews.com
POTUS Barack Obama: Ah, hey Jiminey I mean Jimmy, ah, I have this, situation developing. Ah, hostage thing, ah.
PPOTUS Jimmy Carter: Hey Barack, can you use the teleprompter, this conversation has too many, ah’s and incomplete sentences for me to deal with. Didn’t you go to Harvard?
POTUS Barack Obama: Sorry Jimmy, ah, I had to send the damn thing out to be fixed. Maybe you can use, ah, those Nobel Peace prize skills, for a minute, ah, and cut me some slack. Ah, you sound like the failed policies of the previous administration and fat Bozo Limbaugh.
PPOTUS Jimmy Carter: Barack, I’m the one that came up with the failed policies slogan, so you can thank me for that instead of the static.
POTUS Barack Obama: Jimmy, are, you kidding— after your presidency, you were the reason for that slogan.
Can we get back to my problem. There are hostages. Started as one hostage. And now, the poor Somali people who appropriated work of another for profit—Damn Capitalists! have appropriated another American ship. More hostages.
PPOTUS Jimmy Carter: You mean the Pirate thing I’m watching on CNN? It’s not a big deal.
POTUS Barack Obama: Jimmy, Pirate is not the preferred nomenclature, we don’t use those type of inflammatory, hurt filled, fight starting, terminology, any more—this is a new, administration.
The new New Speak regulations from the office of Language and Communications Czar: Please replace Pirates with the poor Somali people who appropriated work of another for profit in any interviews—be a team player for Christ sake! Oh, and if you can add in the evil Capitalist simile it would help.
These American idiots were just polled and Socialism is widely thought of as positive. They are close to begging us for socialism—the Grail is at hand!
Jimmy the whole world is watching. Waiting. Judging me. I don’t know what to do, and it’s not even 3AM.
PPOTUS Jimmy Carter: You are full of yourself aren’t you—the whole world is watching… Right. China, Putin, Osama, Kim Jong Il, they all have more important things to do than pay attention to how you deal with this non-crisis take my word for it.
POTUS Barack Obama: Jimmy Please! God dammit! I mean dammit, don’t want to offend any of our secular brothers and sister. Focus! (where are my smokes?)
PPOTUS Jimmy Carter: well, if you don’t do something about this Pirate, sorry, the poor Somali people who appropriated work of another for profit, the American people and Damn Capitalists are going to beat you to death with that Grail!
POTUS Barack Obama: I, ah, I, I know, Jimmy, that’s why I’m calling you. So far it appears that I’ve done nothing and I don’t know what to do.
PPOTUS Jimmy Carter: well you haven’t done anything, that’s what I did and for a lot longer than 4 days—I’ll tell you that. If I only had a second term, I know they would have let them go. Maybe if the UN would have… Goddammed Reagan! He got all the credit for my patience! Bastard!
POTUS Barack Obama: Jimmy focus dammit! This is my crisis.
PPOTUS Jimmy Carter: You could send helicopters in the middle of the night after you try to put them to sleep with some kind of nerve gas. Naaah, it’il never work, scratch that.
You could blow-em up to kingdom come—shock and awe-em! It will send a clear message that the US doesn’t negotiate with terrorists! Lol, haha ha haha ha—I’m just kiddin with ya.
I would play it safe—do what I did… Patience.
Also, as a side note to the financial crisis, I’d think about raising taxes on everybody—forget that 250k and up strategy—doesn’t add up anyway!—somebodies got to pay for these programs—there aren’t enough rich people to do it.
(Heh, why should I be the loser president everyone refers to about the inability to deal with being held hostage and adding policies that helped create the worst economy since the Great Depression…)
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Not so easy to steer the ship with the real world sending waves at you every single second—is it? Then add to that criticism from every angle—your own people and leaders, foreign leaders who wouldn’t mind if you got your ass kicked…
That’s why it matters what you say, who you’re speaking to and with what agenda, here and abroad…
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If this bunch can hold us hostage than prepare yourselves! We're in trouble!
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From Drudge:
Warships block help for pirates holding captain...
'We are not afraid of the Americans'...
Obama Team Mulls Threat From Somali Extremists...
'Failure to act'...
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U.S. warships trying to stop Somali pirates from sending aid to lifeboat in which American held hostage
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Pirates seize U.S.-owned, Italy-flagged tugboat Reuters
By Duncan Miriri NAIROBI, April 11 (Reuters) – Pirates seized a U.S.-owned and Italian-flagged tugboat with 16 crew on Saturday in the latest hijacking in the busy Gulf of Aden waterway, a regional maritime group said. “This incident shows the pirates are becoming more daring and violent,” Mwangura told Reuters by phone.
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Hijacking Escalation Somali pirates hijack a U.S. tugboat with an Italian crew as captain standoff enters fourth day
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Pirates seize U.S.-owned, Italy flagged tugboat: By Doug Powers MM
How long will it take Hillary to laugh at this one?
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Somali pirates strike again by Ed Morrissey
Impunity.
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The Anchoress: Pirates on Holy Saturday
Pirates take another vessel: I am trying to eschew politics, but as we pray today, let us offer – along with prayers for others, prayers for our nation, and for our president who seems to be channeling Jimmy Carter’s years. Last seen bowing to the Saudi King and flying a personal pizza chef into Washington to cook for him, is flailing and seems out of his depth and clueless while Somali pirates laugh at our country and basically kidnap with impunity. Hostages everywhere…Can’t Obama just finish his pizza, Pirates? He can only do one thing at a time!
Are you telling me that you couldn’t just tip the boat over and then pull the hostage out? Do guns work under water? If you’re trying to keep yourself afloat in the middle of the ocean can you also be an effective hostage taker?
Ok, tip the boat over with divers below. Grab the hostage taker pull him underwater. Save hostage. Leave the hostage takers in the ocean or arrest them.
Done! Why is this even a problem?
Oh, tipping the boat over is too aggressive? How about drilling a hole in the bottom of the boat—let the boat sink. Take the hostage back.
—US